- Before going on a first date remember that it is most likely gut-wrenching for both of you. Embrace it and maybe even use it to your advantage.
- To avoid awkwardness and a couple of judgmental looks from your cat afterwards, make sure you come prepared. Do your research on the guy or girl you’re looking to date and what their life is about to avoid any surprises.
- Act the way you want them to act with you.
- And please, do not overthink it.
“I don’t need to be here. I have plenty of friends”
That’s the line some of us may have thought to ourselves the moment after we’ve entered a place with a stranger who could become the person we wake up next to for the rest of our lives. First dates are rough, and often times have no purpose but to serve as the worst social ritual of all time. The other person is expecting you to give them a free-trial access to your emotional baggage, while not giving out the ins-and-outs of past relationships and accumulated credit card debt. The presence of an invisible wall, made of expectations and fears, doesn’t make it easier for both parties either: Do not get shit-faced, it is only your first date, do not come across as high maintenance, do not allow the silence to fill up space between two of you, do not breath. As all of these labels can move your worthy-to-be-loved-candidacy to a recycle bin faster, then you will be granted an access to the check that will tell you how much your attempt was worth this time. Ultimately, this is not the only way to begin paving the winding path to personal happiness in the love department, but definitely the most common one. Some things that one should consider before going back to the dating pool are included below.
Really, the time you spend learning about the person you’re going on a first date with is what will — partially — determine your success. If you and your potential partner met online, you definitely don’t want to wait months before this will be taken anywhere else. Why? Well, because catfishing is still a thing. An online setting should give you enough time to analyze someone’s profile and messages and, most importantly, if it matches with your idea of “dating.” In other instances, sit down for a second and think of what you want from relationships and if the person that inquires a first date is able to pull off your demands. It may be not as apparent from the first glance to know if the person if right for you, but that’s the exact point of this paragraph — spend time learning about the person you possibly would like to marry, have kids and a mortgage with.
Don’t be late — this should go without saying. If you absolutely have to, just shoot a text, as it is better than saying nothing.
Remember to leave the phone in your pocket. This is only to help you to make sure you heard everything he or she was saying and to build upon it.
The temptation to not lose your face on a first date is understandable by many, but, in theory, what people really are looking for in relationship is to share their vulnerabilities with another person. Therefore, you need to try to be as authentic as you can. Talk about things in your life that you’re looking to improve, or mistakes you’ve made without going into great details. This move will build trust and quicker connection between you two. Isn’t that what you’re looking for?
It’s safer to have a game plan prepared from beginning to end, meaning you need to know what actions to take for your follow-up. Most of it comes instinctively, including the projections. Please remember that you will never be able to get inside someone’s head. The only feelings you can be certain of are your own.
Things that definitely should be avoided: